‘Outside of a dog, a book is probably man’s best friend;
inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.’
Groucho Marx

‘Whoever said you can’t buy happiness forgot about puppies.’
Gene Hill

‘Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.’
Dave Barry

‘A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.’
Robert Benchley

‘Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.’
Sue Murphy

‘Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul: chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth!’
Anne Tyler

‘There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.’
Ben Williams

‘When a man’s best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.’
Edward Abbey

‘Cat’s motto: No matter what you’ve done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.’

‘I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically dogs think humans are nuts.’
John Steinbeck

‘No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does.’
Christopher Morley

‘In dog years, I’m dead.’

‘To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.’
Aldous Huxley

‘Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.’
Ann Landers

‘I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.’
Rita Rudner

‘Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.’
Robert A. Heinlein

 ‘In order to keep a true perspective of one’s importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.’
Dereke Bruce

‘Man is a dog’s idea of what God should be.’
Holbrook Jackson

‘The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.’
Andrew A. Rooney

‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’
Mark Twain

‘Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won’t buy the wag of his tail.’

by Tony Butcher & Liz Morgan